Curious Heart of Ailsa Rae by Stephanie Butland

Review by Greenacre Writer Vasundra Jackison

Ailsa Rae was born with a heart defect and has had to undergo many operations to keep her alive. She knows she is lucky to have lived for 28 years. But now her heart is failing, and she desperately needs a new one. 

It’s only a question of time before I get too weak to survive a transplant, and then it’s a waste of a heart to give it to me.

At the eleventh hour, someone dies, and Ailsa is the fortunate recipient of their heart. Six days after surgery, she opens her eyes to find her mother Hayley at her bedside, smiling through her tears. They have been through a lot together, just the two of them.

I’m here, hen. I’ve been here all the time...You’re safe now. You’ve done it.

Physically, Ailsa recovers well. But emotionally, she finds the day to day “living” like other adults who know what they want, where they want to be and what they plan to do in the future very challenging.

When I was dying I was special and I was protected…When you might be dead the next week, what you’re doing with your life isn’t really an issue.

Now she has to work out what her priorities are, and she has to make decisions. She avoids this by writing a blog and asking her followers to decide for her. She runs a poll regularly, asking her readers to tell her what she should do with her life, which clothes to wear, what words to choose to describe her feelings, and much more.

There are many things that trouble Ailsa. She desperately misses her friend Lennox who died before a new heart could be found for him. She worries about upsetting her mother by moving out and looking for her long-lost biological father. Life shouldn’t be so hard. After all, she is lucky to have “Apple”, the name she has given to her new heart.

I’m alive, thanks to a freak set of circumstances, which includes someone else’s misfortune. And I think of that every day.

Ailsa’s spirits are lifted when she meets Seb Morley, a television star who is recovering from a corneal transplant. He seems to understand her emotional roller coaster rides. Their email exchanges are funny, witty and sweet. However, even their friendship is not without its problems.

There are moments when Ailsa appears to be quite frivolous about the heart that saved her life. And at times she seems too morbid. But these are the ever-changing moods and coping mechanisms that many transplant patients go through. Organ donation saved Ailsa’s life and its importance has not been forgotten. Ailsa reminds us by stating quite simply:

Please when you die, when someone you love dies, help to let someone else live.

Despite all the uncertainties, Ailsa’s story is a happy one filled with hope. The details of her medical treatment are well researched, giving the reader a wonderful insight into the world of transplants in modern day UK. There is humour in this novel, despite the seriousness of the topic, and there is warmth. Overall, this book is enjoyable, engaging and very thought-provoking.

Thanks to Zaffre for the review copy.

Follow Stephanie on Twitter: @under_blue_sky

Follow Vasundra on Twitter: @vasundrajay